LDS Quotes on Marriage
“For various reasons, marriage and children are not immediately available to all. Perhaps no offer of marriage is forthcoming. Perhaps even after marriage there is an inability to have children. Or perhaps there is no present attraction to the opposite gender. Whatever the reason, God’s richest blessings will eventually be available to all of His children if they are clean and faithful.”
“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”
| The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
So how do we nourish relationships? The same way we nourish faith and character—with great diligence and patience! If we have nourished family relationships, when hard things happen—and they will—we will withstand the hard times and can continue enjoying the fruits that loving family relationships produce.
| “This Is My Day of Opportunity”
“Marriage is a gift from God to us; the quality of our marriages is a gift from us to Him.”
“Don’t tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.”
I think it has been taught by some . . . that if a wife does not love her husband in this state she cannot love him in the next. This is not so. Those who attain to the blessing of the first resurrection will be pure and holy, and perfect in body. Every man and woman that reaches to this unspeakable attainment will be as beautiful as the angels that surround the throne of God. If you can, by faithfulness in this life, obtain the right to come up in the morning of the resurrection, you need entertain no fears that the wife will be dissatisfied with her husband, or the husband with the wife; for those of the first resurrection will be free from sin and from the consequences and power of sin.
| (1862). Future state of existence. In Journal of Discourses, 10, 24.
“The most important single thing any latter day saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person in the right place and by the right authority.”
“A good husband wipes her tears, but a great husband listens to the story of why she’s crying.”
“In dating relationships with the opposite sex, making a wrong choice early may limit making the right choice later.”
| “Where Do I Make My Stand?” Ensign, Nov. 2004, 21.
Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law.
| Disciples of Jesus Christ—Defenders of Marriage
“… Because sexual intimacy is so sacred, the Lord requires self-control and purity before marriage, as well as full fidelity after marriage. In dating, treat your date with respect, and expect your date to show that same respect for you.”
| “That We May Touch Heaven,” Ensign, Nov. 1990, 45, 47.
“Marriage and family life are ordained of God. In an eternal sense, salvation is a family affair. God holds parents responsible for their stewardship in rearing their family. It is a most sacred responsibility.”
“Marriage should not be treated as a contract entered by pleasure from both partners that can be easily broken if it “ doesn’t work out” without even regarding the children. Children need families with a mother and a father with a strong conviction to the gospel.”
| Protect the Children, Conference October 2012
“I came to the understanding that if I employed the same qualifications I was using to think about my testimony of the church as to think about my relationship with my wife, our relationship would fizzle. Like the church, my wife has changed over the years. She is not the same woman I married and, frankly, I would be bored and unfulfilled if she were. I certainly don’t feel that she deceived me because I didn’t know everything about her when I married her, and I have never felt betrayed when I discovered more about her. It has never bothered me that my understanding of her continues to evolve. So should I feel betrayed when I discover new things about the church or start to understand how it has evolved?”
Prayer of a husband and wife: “Keep us o’ Lord from pettiness. Let us be thoughtful in word and deed. Help us to put away pretense and face each other in deep trust without fear or self-pity. Help us to guard against fault-finding, and be quick to discover the best in each other and in every situation. Guard us from ill-temper and hasty judgement; encourage us to take time for all things, grow calm, serene and gentle. Help us to be generous with kind words and compliments. Teach us never to ignore, never to hurt, never to take each other for granted. Engrave charity and compassion on our hearts.”
“Our behavior in public must be above reproach. Our behavior in private is even more important. It must clear the standard set by the Lord. We cannot indulge in sin, let alone try to cover our sins. We cannot gratify our pride. We cannot partake of the vanity of unrighteous ambition. We cannot exercise control, or dominion, or compulsion upon our wives or children, or any others in any degree of unrighteousness.
“If we do any of these things, the powers of heaven are withdrawn. The Spirit of the Lord is grieved. The very virtue of our priesthood is nullified. Its authority is lost. . . .How tragic and utterly disgusting a phenomenon is wife abuse. Any man in this Church who abuses his wife, who demeans her, who insults her, who exercises unrighteous dominion over her is unworthy to hold the priesthood. Though he may have been ordained, the heavens will withdraw, the Spirit of the Lord will be grieved, and it will be amen to the authority of the priesthood of that man.”
| “Personal Worthiness to Exercise the Priesthood,” General Conference, April 2002
“Modern revelation sets forth the high destiny of those who are sealed for everlasting companionship. They will be given opportunity for a greater use of their powers. That means progress. They will attain more readily to their place in the presence of the Lord; they will increase more rapidly in every divine power; they will approach more nearly to the likeness of God; they will more completely realize their divine destiny. And this progress is not delayed until life after death. It begins here, today, for those who yield obedience to the law.”
| Evidences and Reconciliations (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1960), 300
“Indeed, one of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. A man who holds the priesthood regards the family as ordained of God. Your leadership of the family is your most important and sacred responsibility. The family is the most important unit in time and in eternity and, as such, transcends every other interest in life.”
“For those couples who would rate themselves as happily married, the positivity to negativity ratio is 5:1. Although this standard of five instances of positivity for each instance of negativity may appear daunting, there is good news here—couples are not expected to be perfect in their relationships in order to feel happy, satisfied, or fulfilled with each other.”
| (1994). What predicts divorce: The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. New York: Lawrence Erlbaum.
“Your chances for a happy and lasting marriage will be far greater if you will date those who are active and faithful in the Church.”
| “Four B’s for Boys,” Ensign, Nov. 1981, 41.
“One of the best examples of a synergistic system is found in a successful marriage. . . . They join their unique talents, abilities, and spiritual gifts and create something new and profoundly different from what they could ever do individually.”
“A man dreams of a perfect wife. A woman dreams of a perfect husband. But they don’t realize that God created them to complete one another.”
“We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home. We cannot afford to have those who exercise the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God, waste their strength in pornography or spend their lives in cyberspace.”
| Conference October 2012
“The father should be full of kindness, and endeavor to happify and cheer the mother, that her heart may be comforted and her affections unimpaired in her earthly protector, that her love for God and righteousness may vibrate throughout her whole being.”
| Journal of Discourses, 8:62
The noblest yearning of the human heart is for a marriage that will endure beyond death.
| Disciples of Jesus Christ—Defenders of Marriage
“Humility is the essence of repentance. Humility is selfless, not selfish. It doesn’t demand its own way or speak with moral superiority. Instead, humility answers softly and listens kindly for understanding, not vindication. Humility recognizes that no one can change someone else, but with faith, effort, and the help of God, we can undergo our own mighty change of heart. (See Alma 5:11-12, 26-31.) Experiencing the mighty change of heart causes us to treat others, especially our spouses, with meekness. (See Moroni 7:43-48; 8:25-26.) Humility means that both husbands and wives seek to bless, help, and lift each other, putting the other first in every decision. Watch and learn: repentance and humility build happy marriages.”
“What is the central characteristic of those having only five loaves and two fishes? What makes it possible, under the Master’s touch, for them to serve, lift, and bless so that they touch for good the lives of hundreds, even thousands? After a lifetime of dealing in the affairs of men and women, I believe it is the ability to overcome personal ego and pride – both are enemies to the full enjoyment of the Spirit of God and walking humbly before him. The ego interferes with husbands and wives asking each other for forgiveness. It prevents the enjoyment of the full sweetness of a higher love. The ego often prevents parents and children from fully understanding each other. The ego enlarges our feelings of self-importance and worth. It blinds us to reality. Pride keeps us from confessing our sins and shortcomings to the Lord and working out our repentance.”
| Ensign, May 1994, p. 6
Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad.
“Tenderness and respect—never selfishness—must be the guiding principles in the intimate relationship between husband and wife.”
| Being a Righteous Husband and Father
“Marriage is a relationship that cannot survive selfishness, impatience, domineering, inequality, and lack of respect. Marriage is a relationship that thrives on acceptance, equality, sharing, giving, helping, doing one’s part, learning together, enjoying humor.”
| Experiencing Happiness in Marriage
“When a marital relationship is characterized by ‘moral excellence,’ kindness, forgiveness, charity, and love, then intimacy—including sexual intimacy—seems to naturally follow. In my work as a marriage and family counselor, I have observed that rejection of or withdrawal from intimate relations in marriage generally occurs when those qualities are absent and selfishness sets in.”
| Paul's Inspired Teachings On Marriage
“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.”
“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. … Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another.”
| Proclamation on the Family
“Those in happy marriages noticed almost all of the positive things their partners did for them, while those in unhappy marriages failed to recognize 50% of the positive acts their spouses performed.”
| (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York: Three Rivers Press.
“Under the plan of heaven, the husband and wife walk side by side as companions, neither one ahead of the other, but a daughter of God and a son of God walking side by side. Let your families be families of love and peace and happiness.”
“How sweet is the assurance, how comforting is the peace that come from the knowledge that if we marry right and live right, our relationship will continue, notwithstanding the certainty of death and the passage of time. Men may write love songs and sing them. They may yearn and hope and dream. But all of this will be only a romantic longing unless there is an exercise of authority that transcends the powers of time and death.”
“I am satisfied that if we would look for the virtues in one another and not the vices, there would be much more of happiness in the homes of our people. There would be far less of divorce, much less of infidelity, much less of anger and rancor and quarreling. There would be more of forgiveness, more of love, more of peace, more of happiness. This is as the Lord would have it.”
| Living Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry
“Of course, all in marriage is not bliss. . . . The remedy for most marriage stress is not in divorce. It is in repentance. It is not in separation. It is in simple integrity that leads a man to square up his shoulders and meet his obligations. It is found in the Golden Rule. . . .There must be a willingness to overlook small faults, to forgive, and then to forget. There must be a holding of one’s tongue. Temper is a vicious and corrosive thing that destroys affection and casts out love. . . . There may be now and again a legitimate cause for divorce. I am not one to say that it is never justified. But I say without hesitation that this plague among us, which seems to be growing everywhere, is not of God, but rather is the work of the adversary of righteousness and peace and truth.”
| What God hath joined together. Ensign, 21(5), 72–74.
“One of my favorite newspaper columnists is Jenkin Lloyd Jones. In a recent article published in the News, he commented: ‘There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks, to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed. Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …Life is like an old-time rail journey — delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.’”
| God Shall Give unto You Knowledge by His Holy Spirit
“Any man in this church who abuses his wife, who demeans her, who insults her, who exercises unrighteous dominion over her is unworthy to hold the priesthood. In the marriage companionship there is neither inferiority nor superiority. The woman does not walk ahead of the man, neither does the man walk ahead of the woman. They walk side by side as a son and daughter of God on an eternal journey.”
| General Conference Priesthood Session, April 6, 2002
“I am satisfied that the more unkindly a wife is treated, the less attractive she becomes. She loses pride in herself. She develops a feeling of worthlessness. Of course it shows.
“A husband who domineers his wife, who demeans and humiliates her, and who makes officious demands upon her not only injures her, but he also belittles himself. And in many cases, he plants a pattern of future similar behavior in his sons.”
| Ensign, November 1991, p. 51
“If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. you shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.”
“Pride adversely affects all our relationships—our relationship with God and His servants, between husband and wife, parent and child, employer and employee, teacher and student, and all mankind. Our degree of pride determines how we treat our God and our brothers and sisters. Christ wants to lift us to where He is. Do we desire to do the same for others?”
| “Beware of Pride,” Ensign, May 1989
“Fidelity to one’s marriage vows is absolutely essential for love, trust, and peace. Husbands and wives who love each other will find that love and loyalty are reciprocated.”
| October 1982 general conference
“Husbands and wives who love each other will find that love and loyalty are reciprocated. This love will provide a nurturing atmosphere for the emotional growth of children. Family life should be a time of happiness and joy that children can look back on with fond memories and associations.”
| Marriage and Child-Bearing
“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”
| Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
“Christ’s ideal pertaining to marriage is the unbroken home, and conditions that cause divorce are violations of his divine teachings. Except in cases of infidelity or other extreme conditions, the Church frowns upon divorce”
| (IE 72 [June 1969]:2-5)
“Husbands love your wives well! Your children are noticing how you treat her. You are teaching your sons how they should treat women and you are teaching your daughters what they should expect from men.”
“Under the law of the Lord, a marriage, like a human life, is a precious, living thing. If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them. We do not give up. While there is any prospect of life, we seek healing again and again. The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him, the Lord will help us and heal us”
| (2007, May). Divorce. Ensign, 37(5), 70–73.
