Dating & Courtship

LDS Quotes on Dating & Courtship

“Now, brethren, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so particular that you overlook her most important qualities of having a strong testimony, living the principles of the gospel, loving home, wanting to be a mother in Zion, and supporting you in your priesthood responsibilities. Of course, she should be attractive to you….And one good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are?”

Ezra Taft Benson  |  To the Single Adult Brethren of the Church

Topics: ,

Elder Jeffery R. Holland of the LDS church

“In a dating and courtship relationship, I would not have you spend five minutes with someone who belittles you, who is constantly critical of you, who is cruel at your expense and may even call it humor.”

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland  |  “How Do I Love Thee?” New Era, Oct. 2003, 6.

Topics: ,

Elder Jeffery R. Holland of the LDS church

“For various reasons, marriage and children are not immediately available to all. Perhaps no offer of marriage is forthcoming. Perhaps even after marriage there is an inability to have children. Or perhaps there is no present attraction to the opposite gender. Whatever the reason, God’s richest blessings will eventually be available to all of His children if they are clean and faithful.”

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Topics: , , ,

“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”

Mandy Hale  |  The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

Topics: , ,

“True love is a process. True love requires personal action.”

Marvin J. Ashton  |  Love Takes Time

Topics: , ,

“During the time of courtship, please be emotionally honest in the expression of affection. Sometimes you are not as careful as you might be about when, how, and to whom you express your feelings of affection. You must realize that the desire to express affection can be motivated by other things than true love.”

Bruce C. Hafen  |  “The Gospel and Romantic Love,” Ensign, Oct. 1982, 67.

Topics: , ,

“When any of you—men or women—are given entrance to the heart of a trusting young friend, you stand on holy ground. In such a place you must be honest with yourself—and with your friend—about love and the expression of its symbols.”

Bruce C. Hafen  |  “The Gospel and Romantic Love,” Ensign, Oct. 1982, 67.

Topics: , , ,

Thomas S. Monson

“… Because sexual intimacy is so sacred, the Lord requires self-control and purity before marriage, as well as full fidelity after marriage. In dating, treat your date with respect, and expect your date to show that same respect for you.”

Thomas S. Monson  |  “That We May Touch Heaven,” Ensign, Nov. 1990, 45, 47.

Topics: , ,

“The most important single thing any latter day saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person in the right place and by the right authority.”

Bruce R. McConkie  |  Agency or Inspiration?

Topics: , ,

“In dating relationships with the opposite sex, making a wrong choice early may limit making the right choice later.”

James E. Faust  |  “Where Do I Make My Stand?” Ensign, Nov. 2004, 21.

Topics: , ,

“The Lord has made us attractive one to another for a great purpose. But this very attraction becomes as a powder keg unless it is kept under control. It is beautiful when handled in the right way. It is deadly if it gets out of hand…It is better, my friends, to date a variety of companions until you are ready to marry. Have a wonderful time, but stay away from familiarity. Keep your hands to yourself. It may not be easy, but it is possible.”

Gordon B. Hinckley  |  “A Prophet’s Counsel and Prayer for Youth,” New Era, Jan. 2001, 13.

Topics: ,

“Desire can be stimulated by the anxiety of aloneness, by the wish to conquer or be conquered, by vanity, by the wish to hurt or even to destroy, as much as it can be stimulated by love. It seems that sexual desire can easily blend with and be stimulated by any strong emotion, of which love is only one. Because sexual desire is in the minds of most people coupled with the idea of love, they are easily misled to conclude that they love each other when they want each other physically. But if this desire is not stimulated by real love, it leaves strangers as far apart as they were before—sometimes it makes them ashamed of each other, or even makes them hate each other, because when the illusion has gone, they feel their estrangement even more markedly than before.”

Erich Fromm  |  The Art of Loving, New York: Harper and Rowe, 1956, pp. 54–55

Topics: , ,

“For those couples who would rate themselves as happily married, the positivity to negativity ratio is 5:1. Although this standard of five instances of positivity for each instance of negativity may appear daunting, there is good news here—couples are not expected to be perfect in their relationships in order to feel happy, satisfied, or fulfilled with each other.”

Gottman, J. M  |  (1994). What predicts divorce: The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. New York: Lawrence Erlbaum.

Topics: , ,

“One of my favorite newspaper columnists is Jenkin Lloyd Jones. In a recent article published in the News, he commented: ‘There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks, to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed. Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …Life is like an old-time rail journey — delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.’”

Gordon B. Hinckley  |  God Shall Give unto You Knowledge by His Holy Spirit

Topics: , , ,

“Your chances for a happy and lasting marriage will be far greater if you will date those who are active and faithful in the Church.”

Gordon B. Hinckley  |  “Four B’s for Boys,” Ensign, Nov. 1981, 41.

Topics: , ,

“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”

Elizabeth Gilbert  |  Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

Topics: , , ,

“A man dreams of a perfect wife. A woman dreams of a perfect husband. But they don’t realize that God created them to complete one another.”

Dr. Amr Khaled

Topics: ,

“Too many who come to marriage have been coddled and spoiled and somehow led to feel that everything must be precisely right at all times, that life is a series of entertainments, that appetites are to be satisfied without regard to principle. How tragic the consequences of such hollow and unreasonable thinking! …”

Gordon B. Hinckley

Topics: , ,

“Most people spend more time planning the wedding than planning the marriage. The wedding is the planting, but the marriage is the season. One happens in an instant, the rest can last forever.”

John Bytheway  |  Weed Your Brain, Grown Your Testimony

Topics: ,

“One of my favorite newspaper columnists is Jenkin Lloyd Jones. In a recent article published in the News, he commented: ‘There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks, to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed. Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …Life is like an old-time rail journey — delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.’”

Gordon B. Hinckley  |  "God Shall Give Unto You Knowledge by His Holy Spirit"

Topics: , , , ,

Elder Jeffery R. Holland of the LDS church

“The crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty.”

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Topics: , ,

Thomas S. Monson

“Men, take care not to make women weep, for God counts their tears.”

Thomas S. Monson  |  "That We May Touch Heaven"

Topics: , , ,

“One of the grand errors we tend to make when we are young is supposing that a person is a bundle of qualities, and we add up the individual’s good and bad qualities, like a bookkeeper working on debits and credits. If the balance is favorable, we may decide to take the jump (into marriage). … The world is full of unhappy men and women who married because … it seemed to be a good investment. Love, however, is not an investment; it is an adventure. And when marriage turns out to be as dull and comfortable as a sound investment, the disgruntled party soon turns elsewhere. …Ignorant people are always saying, ‘I wonder what he sees in her [or him],’ not realizing that what he [or she] sees in her [or him] (and what no one else can see) is the secret essence of love.”

Gordon B. Hinckley  |  "And the Greatest of These Is Love"

Topics: , ,

Spencer W. Kimball Portrait

“Soul mates’ are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.”

Spencer W. Kimball  |  Oneness in Marriage

Topics: ,

Spencer W. Kimball Portrait

“Real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person. . . . It is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.”

Spencer W. Kimball  |  (1976, September 7). Marriage and divorce. BYU Devotional

Topics: , , ,

“When are you old enough? Maturity may vary from individual to individual, but we are convinced that dating should not even begin until you are 16. And then, ideal dating is on a group basis. Stay in group activities; don’t pair off. Avoid steady dating. Steady dating is courtship, and surely the beginning of courtship ought to be delayed until you have emerged from your teens.”

Boyd K. Packer  |  “You’re in the Driver’s Seat,” New Era, June 2004, 8.

Topics: , ,

“It is better to be alone than in bad company.”

George Washington

Topics: ,

“Love is when you give someone else the power to destroy you, and you trust them not to do it.”

Anonymous

Topics: , ,

“While you should be friendly with all people, select with great care those whom you wish to have close to you. They will be your safeguards in situations where you may vacillate between choices, and you in turn may save them.”

Gordon B. Hinckley  |  “A Prophet’s Counsel and Prayer for Youth”

Topics: ,

Elder Jeffery R. Holland of the LDS church

“Do you want capability, safety, and security in dating and romance, in married life and eternity? Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-day Saint. Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril. Jesus Christ, the Light of the World, is the only lamp by which you can successfully see the path of love and happiness. How should I love thee? As He does, for that way ‘never faileth.’”

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland  |  “How Do I Love Thee?” New Era, Oct. 2003, 8.

Topics: , ,

Spencer W. Kimball Portrait

“Your love, like a flower, must be nourished. There will come a great love and interdependence between you, for your love is a divine one. It is deep, inclusive, comprehensive. It is not like that association of the world which is misnamed love, but which is mostly physical attraction. When marriage is based on this only, the parties soon tire of each other. There is a break and a divorce, and a new, fresher physical attraction comes with another marriage which in turn may last only until it, too, becomes stale.”

Spencer W. Kimball  |  Faith Precedes the Miracle, 130–31

Topics: , , ,

“Simple and more frequent dates allow both men and women to ‘shop around’ in a way that allows extensive evaluation of the prospects. The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out.”

Elder Dallin H. Oaks  |  “Dating versus Hanging Out,” Ensign, June 2006, 13.

Topics:

“Courtship is a time of abandoning independence and learning interdependence. It is the process of developing a trusting, sharing relationship, of learning to listen and really hear, of caring about the other and sharing self. You might say it is a “tenderizing” experience.”

Gawain and Gayle Wells  |  Courtship

Topics: , ,

“I know of no other practice which will make one more attractive in conversation than to be well-read in a variety of subjects. There is a great potential within each of us to go on learning. Regardless of our age, unless there be serious illness, we can read, study, drink in the writings of wonderful men and women. It is never too late to learn. ”

Gordon B. Hinckley  |  Stand a Little Taller

Topics: , ,

“Dating has become the accepted form of social recreation for the purpose of getting acquainted before young people can safely have a serious interest in each other. Because the selection of a mate in life is so extremely important, we should intelligently seek the experiences which will help us to make that great decision”

Howard W. Hunter  |  Youth of the Noble Birthright, pp. 101-109. Salt Lake City, 1960

Topics: ,