Divorce

LDS Quotes About Divorce

“The more uncertain people are that any partnership will last, the more they act as individuals and the less they act as permanent partners. But the more spouses act as separate individuals, the less they get from the marriage partnership, and the more likely the marriage will fail”

Waite, L. J., & Gallagher, M  |  The case for marriage. New York: Doubleday.

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Spencer W. Kimball Portrait

“Your love, like a flower, must be nourished. There will come a great love and interdependence between you, for your love is a divine one. It is deep, inclusive, comprehensive. It is not like that association of the world which is misnamed love, but which is mostly physical attraction. When marriage is based on this only, the parties soon tire of each other. There is a break and a divorce, and a new, fresher physical attraction comes with another marriage which in turn may last only until it, too, becomes stale.”

Spencer W. Kimball  |  Faith Precedes the Miracle, 130–31

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“For those couples who would rate themselves as happily married, the positivity to negativity ratio is 5:1. Although this standard of five instances of positivity for each instance of negativity may appear daunting, there is good news here—couples are not expected to be perfect in their relationships in order to feel happy, satisfied, or fulfilled with each other.”

Gottman, J. M  |  (1994). What predicts divorce: The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. New York: Lawrence Erlbaum.

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“Those in happy marriages noticed almost all of the positive things their partners did for them, while those in unhappy marriages failed to recognize 50% of the positive acts their spouses performed.”

Gottman, J. M  |  (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York: Three Rivers Press.

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“Of course, all in marriage is not bliss. . . . The remedy for most marriage stress is not in divorce. It is in repentance. It is not in separation. It is in simple integrity that leads a man to square up his shoulders and meet his obligations. It is found in the Golden Rule. . . .There must be a willingness to overlook small faults, to forgive, and then to forget. There must be a holding of one’s tongue. Temper is a vicious and corrosive thing that destroys affection and casts out love. . . . There may be now and again a legitimate cause for divorce. I am not one to say that it is never justified. But I say without hesitation that this plague among us, which seems to be growing everywhere, is not of God, but rather is the work of the adversary of righteousness and peace and truth.”

Gordon B. Hinckley  |  What God hath joined together. Ensign, 21(5), 72–74.

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“One of my favorite newspaper columnists is Jenkin Lloyd Jones. In a recent article published in the News, he commented: ‘There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks, to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed. Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …Life is like an old-time rail journey — delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.’”

Gordon B. Hinckley  |  God Shall Give unto You Knowledge by His Holy Spirit

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“Thanks to no-fault, the marriage contract is no longer enforceable. It takes two to marry but only one to divorce at any time, for any reason, as fast as the courts can sort out property and custody issues”

Waite, L. J., & Gallagher, M  |  The case for marriage. New York: Doubleday.

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“Willingness to experience difficult thoughts, feelings, and experiences is put in the service of our values. This is what makes willingness different from wallowing”

Luoma, J. B., Hayes  |  S. C., & Walser, R. D. (2007). Learning ACT: An acceptance & commitment therapy skills-training manual for therapists. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

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Elder Jeffery R. Holland of the LDS church

“The crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty.”

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland  |  (2012, November). The first great commandment. Ensign, 42(11), 83–85.

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“No matter what the reason for divorce, those usually hurt most are the children. Too often the children are robbed of the basic needs to prepare them for life.”

James A. Cullimore  |  Marriage Is Intended to Be Forever

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